Best Invention: Hulu.com. When cable dies, I know where to point the finger. Same for Ti-Vo. And quite frankly, I don't care. Who needs TV telling when I have to watch my favorite shows, when I can just go on the internet and watch full episodes for free and less commercials? And what if you have two hours of downtime at the airport because security is supposed to take so long but you walk right through it? Business travelers don't want to do work; the kids have to be busy (riding the moving walkways is only fun for so long). And, for those of you with Ti-Vo, you don't have to be around a TV to watch a show you recorded. There's internet practically everywhere.
Best TV Episode: Family Guy: "I Dream of Jesus." I don't have exact figures, but I can guess that "Surfin' Bird" downloads on iTunes went up about 300 times since that episode was aired. The plot is so out there; who goes from Surfin' Bird to Jesus's second coming to Jesus turning in to an asshole and getting all the chicks and promising a spot in his limo to a cow? The greatest line people forget about is in the beginning when Stewie practically begs Peter to sing it again when they are at the diner because Stewie "loves repetition," but each time Peter sings it or plays it, Stewie gets increasingly frustrated.
Best Sports Moment: Giants Beating The Patriots in Super Bowl XLII. First of all, the game was incredible. It was an absolutely amazing game. The kind of game that if you usually leave Super Bowl Parties early because you were there for the first word of the pre-game show at 10:00 am and bored by halftime, you couldn't do that for this game. Eli Manning's pass to David Tyree wouldn't happen again if you tried 200 times. And just watching Bill Belichick's always upset, moany, and whiny voice actually warrant being upset, moany, and whiny, made my, and I'm sure many other people's, day. I mean, Bill, you can't be upset, moany, and whiny when you go 16-0. Even though you cheated in one of the games.
Song That Everyone Listened To, But No One Does Anymore: Lil' Wayne - Lollipop. Don't get me wrong, it was a good song when it first came out. Then it got old after a month. I haven't heard it in about 3 months. And, by the way, who ever decides if songs are still worth listening to, thank you. I mean that song was everywhere: clubs, radio, iPod, playing in everyone's car, stuck in your head, stuck in your friend's head (and you could still hear it). I am personally just glad that it is pretty much gone. I mean, you can't dance to it (no matter how hard you try, you'll still look like an idiot), it's not a song you can just sit back and listen to. I mean, really, in all honesty, that song belongs nowhere.
Best YouTube Video: Bill O'Reilly Does It Live. I know this video was not recorded in 2008 but it was leaked on to YouTube in 2008. We all know Bill has a temper, but wow, this is ridiculous. You are a journalist (I use that term loosely). You should know what to play us out means. You should be able come up with something when there are no words on the teleprompter; it's called thinking on your feet. I'm glad your show isn't live; it wouldn't be family friendly with you cursing up a storm (aside: that's a stupid saying by the way).
Most Overused Word: Maverick. Shut up, John. Shut up, Sarah. That's all I have to say about this one.
Most Flat-Out Wrong Statement: "The Vice President Runs The Senate." Really now? I did not know that. Oh, maybe because it's wrong. That's not their constitutional job, Ms. Palin. It may be what Dick Cheney is doing, but it's not what he's supposed to be doing. The great part about this quote is that when someone asked her before said this, she said "I'll look it up and get back to you." You still got it wrong. You must suck a research. Or someone you hired does. Or you can't read. Or the constitution is different in Alaska. It must be, Russia is close. Must be rubbing its influence on poor little Alaska.
Best Move By The American People: Not Nominating Hillary Clinton. We all would have been in hell. Someone we should have voted for because she is woman, cries, and has been "runnin' countries' and shit" (Katt Williams quote) lost, and I am very happy. You shouldn't have been voted in because you were just a woman. You shouldn't have been voted in just because you were in the White House with Bill. The two things you were pushing made you lose. Good job America. Especially because if Hillary was the Democratic nominee, what would we have done? McCain with Palin? Hillary with whoever she picked? Canada would have looked nice.
The "What The Hell?" Quote: "We would fry squirrels in a popcorn popper." Excuse me? Really Mike Huckabee? You would? That's not good for either the popcorn popper or you, is it? Are squirrels supposed to be eaten? Who fries squirrels in a popcorn popper? Why say that unprompted? I am really at a loss of words for this one. It's just so out there. Wow. Funny thing about the clip is that he actually asks if they have ever done that before. I don't think they have. I don't they will, either. Especially because popcorn poppers are now microwaves, and I don't think microwaves would fry a good squirrel.
Funniest Quote: On Hillary's Chances of Winning. "Things aren't looking good for Hillary. Like a lot of women in Washington, I think she's just starting to realize she may have slept with Bill Clinton for nothing." Jay Leno, you couldn't have been more right. The amazing part is how Hillary even slept with Bill. Hillary is more hurt than getting standing in a middle of an interstate, getting hit a tractor trailer, landing on a rusty nail, having a tetanus shot with a non-straight needle, all while getting hit in the face by Oscar de la Hoya (when he was good) and have Andre Aggassi serving tennis balls at your genitalia. But, Bill must not get the good looking women, Monica Lewinski wasn't good looking either. Back to the quote, though. Jay Leno was dead on. The fact that it is true gives it bonus points.
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