If you've ever wanted to get in the face with dookie, now's your chance! Just go down to Tampa Bay where there is a feces-throwing monkey on the loose. He only throws the feces when he's mad, so if you really want to get, piss him off.
The monkey has been on the loose for 24 hours. He's still out there. How can you not capture a monkey? They aren't that fast. And we have technology that's supposed to, you know, help catch runaway monkeys? Oh we don't? I'm sure we do. The monkey managed to evade a bucket truck and a tranquilizer dart. That's a bad shot. You can't hit a monkey? I guess not. I might not be able to, but my job isn't to shoot escaped monkeys. It's probably not that guy's job who was in charge of shooting him, but I still put the blame on him.
Don't worry though, the monkey is not considered dangerous. Unless you piss him off. Then watch out for flying shit.
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