Those Steroids Must Have Helped

A-Rod hit a home run on his first pitch this year.  After he had surgery.  After he hasn't seen a major league pitch since September.  Not even first at bat.  It was the first pitch.  Those steroids are good.  Oh that's right, he only took them in Arlington, not New York.  

Speaking of steroids, Manny Ramirez?  Really?  He might be the best hitter in the game.  And I had no doubt he was clean.  I guess not.  But we don't know if he took steroids, he just took a female fertility drug that people usually take after a steroid cycle.  But we don't know if he took steroids.  Players are so honest these days that I believe them.  But why a female fertility drug?  I still want to know.  If you are taking a steroid, why take such a sissy drug?  Why not take a manly drug.  Like HGH.  Now that's a manly drug.

Oh, and for A-Rod, no matter how many first pitch home runs he hits this year, he'll be back to normal come September and October.  Awful.

Make Up Your Mind Already

Should I be scared shitless or not?  No one can make up their mind about this swine flu.  Is it going to kill me and should I be in a bubble so I don't get it?  Or no?  No one can tell me anything.  Every day it's something new.  Before, WHO said this swine flu (my bad, H1N1 virus) is not any worse than the normal flu.  Now they say over 2 billion people could get it.  Two billion, with a b.  That's a lot.  That's 2 Chinas.  And there are almost 900 new cases of this in 41 states.  Maybe we are over reacting.  Actually I know we are.  The University of Illinois-Chicago is banning handshakes at graduation.  Oh yeah, that will stop the spread of the disease.  Also, no hugging your family after graduation either.  A Chicago health official even hinted that this is ridiculous.  Should WHO declare a full pandemic? No but I am declaring we are all crazy.

Brett Favre, You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

So, Brett Favre is talking with the Vikings to return to playing in the NFL...again.  I thought he retired...twice.  He is worse than Michael Jordan with the NBA.  But at least he left to play another sport, not play with himself.  Brett Favre better not come back or I am going to go ballistic.  First of all, he sucks now.  Second of all, he can't compete.  Third of all, he's just getting really annoying.  And if he does decide to stay retired (which looks like it won't happen, as Chris Mortensen said it would be more surprising for Favre not to play) he better not be announcing.  I'd rather listen to Bryant Gumbel.  Ok, maybe not.  He is awful.

And besides, aren't there enough former NFL players as analysts?  I mean we got Michael Strahan (who I learned after a little research is a host of Pros vs. Joes) who's space between his teeth takes up the entire screen on FOX.  On CBS there is Jerome Bettis, who's space just takes up the entire screen.  On NBC, there is my favorite analyst of all time, Cris Collinsworth, who's space between his ears take up the entire screen.  There's no room for him.  Well, I guess they could add a 6th person to the pre-game shows, right?

Why don't you just do everyone, well at least me a favor, Brett: just go fishing in Mississippi.  For ever.