If You Don't Know What You Are Talking About, Kindly Shut Up

You know who you all are. You walk around acting like you know everything about the thing are you are talking. You talk like you know everything. You genuinely think you know everything. Let me tell you something: in actuality, you know nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Want examples? I got them.

Example A: Italian 101, Friday afternoon, B&E 242, Fellow student claims Arnold Schwarzenegger is 5'1". We were learning physical description adjectives, and our teacher shows us a picture of Arnold at a press conference, with other people standing behind him. Arnold is taller than all of the people in the photo. When asked to describe the governor, he responded "basso," which means short. After the class laughed, the student claimed Arnold was 5 foot 1. Laughter resumed. He was arguing with us that he was really that short (the student claimed the angle of the picture made him look taller than everyone else). After 5 minutes of discussion, the teacher looked it up on the computer and revealed that Arnold is 6'1". Please shut up kid who sits next to me. I never liked you anyway, and now I really don't like you.

Example B: Whitewater rafting on the Gauley River; Saturday morning; Summersville, WV; Fellow rafter thinks he's the best ever. He was telling us how to paddle, how to raft, and what to do. I know what to do. I've been doing it for 5 years. And there is a guide in the back of the raft who tells rafters what to do. When going through a tough rapid where we had to paddle aggressively, our guide was yelling to paddle harder. I was. I looked over to "Mr. Awesome" and he's barely sticking the paddle in the water. Way to guy who knows everything. Don't be scared of falling out and lean over and paddle. If you're braced correctly (and I know you are, since you are the best), you should not fall out. And when he did fall out (at a different rapid than the previous story) he did not even swim back to the raft. I know at least 5 of the 9 rafters in the raft (including the guide) found him incredibly annoying. We aren't going to help you out if you are. Swim your lazy butt over to the raft, especially in flat water, which is where you were. I didn't like you when I met you, and now I really don't like you.

Do you notice a pattern in the last sentence of each example? Maybe I don't give people enough time to decide if I like them or not (I usually make up my mind in about 2-3 minutes.), but I don't think that will change my ultimate opinion of you.