National "Don't Touch My Junk" Day

So today is the busiest travel day of the year. Millions of people going to airports to fly all across the country. These people are going through the typical day at the airport: waiting in line at the ticket counter, checking bags, having IDs checks, getting boarding passes, proceeding to security, taking shoes off, putting items on the conveyor belt to go throw the metal detector, then getting their junk touched? That's not how security goes. Well, now it is. You could be randomly selected to get put through a full body scan where the screener can see you naked. Don't worry, the screener is in a separate room and your face is removed. Or you can opt out of that and get patted down. Intimately.

One woman said she was selected because of her breasts. I mean, let's get serious though. If you were a TSA worker and had the chance, wouldn't you? Either one of your buddies gets to see her in a full body scanner or you get to watch another woman rub her down. Sounds like a win-win to me.

Because of this AAA expects record highway traffic. Why not? Airport travel is becoming way too much of a hassle. And who wants people to see/touch their junk? Unless its in bed. Then that's alright. But the TSA isn't going in my bed. They are too much of a whore.

The Hardest Thing About The Return of Greatness

What's the hardest thing about me starting to write this blog again? Not keeping up with the posts; trust me, there are plenty of things I can beat the world with. It will be this new fangled Twitter thing. 140 characters? How am I supposed to point out stupid ass things and people with only 140 characters? It will be a challenge. Who decided 140 anyway? It's a random number. I mean sure it ends in a zero, but why not 150? That makes more sense. Maybe 140 was Mr. Twitter's (that's who made it right?) lucky number. But that's a big lucky number. But it's definitely possible. And for the long winded rants and victories, come here. You'll get your dose.

By the way, check out the Twitter feed on the left of this page. Or follow me. But not too closely, I hate when people step on the back of my shoes.

Returning November 18

Beating The World One Day At A Time is coming back. Thursday, November 18 be on the look out for the return of awesome on your computer.

Follow me on Twitter @beatingtheworld.

Until then, don't get too excited. I don't want your heart to explode from the intense increase in heart rate. Then you won't be able to read this because you would be dead. So grab a paper bag and breathe into that if you have to until then, but don't worry, it will be here before you know it.