Monday, March 15, 2010

Is This Woman's Density Below 1.0?

I guess it takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round, but I think this lady is slowing the earth down. Her goal: to become the fattest woman on earth.

People like this always make me wonder. Like I don't know why anyone would want to be 1,000 pounds. That's about the total of what 7 or 8 women should weigh, not one.

Her biggest obstacle of getting to her goal weight? Not being able to eat that much food. Not being able to afford the weekly food bill (which is $815 per week). But burning too much calories "running after [her] daughter" is what she worries about. I don't know, but after looking at her picture, I don't think what she does that she thinks is running actually qualifies as running. I would go with, putting your weight forward and hoping her feet catch up. Something like that. But not running.

Also, she thinks her partner "would like if if [she] was a little bigger." I would like it if she wasn't. I would like it if she was a lot smaller. The lucky man, Phillipe, her partner, met her on a plus-size match making site. Really, just one plus?

She already holds the record for being the world's fattest mother to give birth. How would you find where the baby came out under all those rolls?

Only about 400 pounds to go, Donna.

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Savior is Stupid

When I saw this report on ESPN, my day could not have been any better. It was posted on ESPN.com yesterday, and is nowhere to be found today. (But I found it. Score one for me ESPN.) But maybe that's because it shows how Tim Tebow (who from what I hear is God, not a god, but the head honcho) is stupid. Well, below the average intelligence of an NFL quarterback, and if it weren't for Vince Young (overall stupid, based on his Wonderlic score), Michael Vick (you know what happened), and Eli Manning (who missed the smart gene in his family, it went to Peyton) bringing the average down, Tebow would be more than just average.

Fun fact: the last seven Super Bowl winning quarterbacks' average Wonderlic score: 30. Tebow's Wonderlic score: 22. I am surprised he didn't pray before the test. I am surprised I saw another college quarterback work as hard (read: harder) than him, the rest of the year (tear, sniffle, tear). Sam Bradford scored 36.

But hey Timmy, it's ok. You know God still loves you because he loves everyone. It does help that you apparently are him, though. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Sucks for These Guys

Lesson learned, don't try Slamball at home. It could end up not being so good.

Also, I hope this guy is checking the tire pressure. Who said golf isn't a contact sport?