Starting My Christmas Wish List

I know it's not Black Friday yet, but I am starting to put together my Christmas wish list. So, if you want to give me something, here are some ideas to start.

• I want all of my diagnoses and doctor's orders given in this manner. I don't know if that will ever get old. Kind of like this will never get old. Yeah, it didn't because there was a new one that came out a year later. It should be played at clubs. I'd dance. Or try to dance.
• While you're at it, dance lessons couldn't hurt....
• I am not the Animal Planet guy, but I want one of these. What is it? I don't know. But it's a-fricken-dorable.
• I also want this boat. The girls do come with it, right?
• And even though I'm done with English classes, I want to look out for the youth of America. Let's teach English classes like this.

Now I am going to mail this to the North Pole. Please, Santa, please!!!!

Hey, Urban Meyer and MLB, Grow Some Balls

Alright, things usually don't piss me off. Fine, you caught me. Let's add these two to the list though.

Urban Meyer, why don't you suspend Brandon Spikes appropriately for his actions. Gouging the eyes on an opponent, clearly intentionally, merits more than a half-game suspension. I could, maybe, possibly, sort of see that if it was against a better opponent, but its Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt was good for a total of one year. When the team's average IQ is higher than the average offensive yards gained per game, you know they aren't good. So come on, Urban, suspend him for more than one half. The only thing you are preaching: nothing will stand in the way of repeating as national champions. Not even disciplining players for inappropriate and unsportsmanlike actions. Come on Urban, grow some balls.

Yankees, do you need ten thousand time outs per inning to talk about the next pitch? I guess so. You know how you take too many? When you take eight in one inning and four while the same batter is up. Yes, it's important to be on the same page. But do you know why people don't like baseball as much anymore? It takes too damn long. It's slow. You're not helping baseball's cause. Now I understand its America's pastime. I propose the following rules to help aid baseball games go faster. 1: Three defensive time outs per inning, including when the coach/manager comes out. 2: 15 seconds to pitch. 3: The batter can leave the batters' box only twice per at bat. The one MLB can pass and easily enforce: limiting trips to the mound. Pass this rule MLB. Come on MLB, grow some balls.

You know who has grown balls? The PGA Tour. They suspended a player for one year on the Nationwide Tour (the minor league of the PGA) for violating the league's PED policy. Yes, the PGA Tour has an PED policy and enforces it. Go figure. They grew some balls.