Fun Size Candies Aren't Fun

Who can have fun eating one of them? You need like 34 of them to have fun. A fun sized candy would be like a 5-lb brick. That would be fun. I would enjoy that.

I don't know who decided to name them fun size. But I want to find out. So I can beat him. He got my hopes up. Then when I get a candy the size of a nickel, I was very let down.

Fun sized candy should be renamed. I don't know to what. But definaetely to something else. Like, "Feel Free to Eat 16 of These before Feeling Fat" size, or "I Hope You Didn't Want to Know What This Really Tastes Like" size. Those are more appropriate names. If those were the names though, the print would have to be really small though, so it could fit on the wrapper.

And who decided to start giving out pretzels on Halloween? That's unnecessary. Halloween is supposed to help childhood obesity. Isn't it? I thought that is what the point of the holiday is. And then when kids are asked how much candy they got, they can't include that in the count. "Well, I got 322 pieces of candy. Oh, and two bags of pretzels." It just doesn't sound right.

Why Is There A 75-Year Old Flamingo, Anyway?

That title got your attention didn't it? Thought it would.

What is wrong with Australians? They say words weird, chase wild animals, and apparently attack elderly flamingoes. But, what can you expect from a nation of prisoners?

But, yes, attack old flamingoes. That's what four Australian teens did. Attacked an at leat 75-year old flamingo. And it was blind. Or near blind. Damn teens.

The flamingo was apparently the oldest in the world. They don't live that long in the wild. They shouldn't. A flamingo is cool for about 5 minutes. That's all. No need for them to live 75 years.

So four teens aged 17-19 are charged with aggrevated ill-treatment of an animal. They were released on bail and will appear in court on a later date. Court? This sounds more like a fine and a slap on the wrist rather than court. I guess I'm wrong.

I have to side with the kids on this one though. The flamingo was 75 years old. It is only a matter of time before it dies. And the kids didn't even kill it, just ill-treated it.

The flamingo is unafraid of humans and constantly settles near the fencing. It seems like he wants to die. This was his chance. And with his name of Flamingo One, I don't blame him. Poor little Flamingo One, ain't that a bitch?

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=081030070126.g8s7l0pr&show_article=1

Really, Did I Hear That Right?

I was watching TV the other day and a commercial for a hotel chain (I can't remember which, though, but it was for a business style hotel) came on and the last line of the commercial was this: "So come in, spread out, and get some work done." I laughed.

Who wrote that line? For a hotel commercial? Someone wasn't thinking. Or were they?

Seriously, "spread out and get some work done"? Why invite that kind of stuff in a hotel? You're just going to work the housekeeping staff harder, and they will have to wear gloves when removing the linens.

But that line should not be used for a business hotel chain. More like Motel 6.

I know the intent of the line was not what my dirty little mind is thinking, but it is just too easy. Get some work done as in business work, not "get some work done." Maybe I should grow up. Nah.

ESPN, Why Don't You Make Your Ticker A Little Bit Bigger?

I was watching football all day today, as all good Americans do. After all, it is Sunday. And after the games, I turned to ESPN to watch all the highlights. I could have watched NBC's pregame show for Sunday Night Football, but just the thought of listening to Bob Costas and Cris Collinsworth made me die a little, so I decided to watch Chris Berman and laugh at least a little bit (Bob and Chris are about as funny as nothing, even though they think they are.).

When I turn on ESPN though, I couldn't really watch the highlights because the actual video on the screen was very small. Half of the screen was taken over by stats listings from every game. Half the screen. In addition to that, the normal stats and scores ticker was scrolling on the bottom. I thought I got confused and dizzy watching CNBC and the stock reports at the bottom, but this, holy crap.

I guess I have to watch NBC to get the highlights which I could actually see. I had my glasses on when I was watching ESPN and I still struggled to see the highlights. I think ESPN has channel where I can not actually watch TV (ESPN News). Oh yeah, and there's the Internet. People can look up stats on the Internet.

Oh yeah, New York Jets, please stop wearing those hideous uniforms. What the hell? I thought the Jets' color was green, not obnoxious.

Well Done Rensselaer County

The joke is over, people. No matter how much you want it to be or how much you want to scare the American public, Barack Osama is ridiculous. Seriously, we aren't 5 years old.

Rensselaer County in New York sent out absentee ballots with Barack Osama as the Democratic candidate. They claim it was a typo. That went through three people. None of whom noticed.

Really? How stupid are those people? They must be incredibly. Really? No one caught it? No one? I'm pretty sure at least one out of three people know Barack's correct last name.

And who was the person who typed up the ballot? S and B are not exactly close on the keyboard.

If the voters change the spelling of the name, their vote is considered invalid. That's fishy isn't it? Some voters in the county think so.

But don't worry, only 300 absentee ballots were sent out like that. And if you point out the mistake, they county election office will send you a new ballot. So let's say, optimistically, 50 people get a new one which leaves 250 incorrect ballots. Out of the entire voting age population of the United States (about 75% are of voting age, which means about 2.25 million), only 250 out of 2.25 million people will be exposed. That's a really small fraction. I guess I am overreacting.

http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=728326